who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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