You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
