So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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