Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
