wakey wakey hands off snakey
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
