are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize