how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
