And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
