My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
