Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
