You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
