i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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