how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
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