Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
