i think my tv is drunk
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Randomize
