i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
