i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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