I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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