I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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