I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
