Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So vagazzling was a success
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