hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
