would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..