I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?