It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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