Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
