This dress was meant to end up on your floor
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
