we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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