She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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