HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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