Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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