I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
