I'm lost and stupid without you.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize