i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It's Friday. Sex?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
