Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
