guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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