so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
