member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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