The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
