I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
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First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
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Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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