Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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