Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
