Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
