I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
