I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
