Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Welp...herpes.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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