I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
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I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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