i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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