Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You need a sexual gate keeper
Randomize
