yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
