Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
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i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
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The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I have fence marks all over my body
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