So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
