This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
