Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
