DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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