win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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