we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
