my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
