watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize