yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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