she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
